Faith Bible Church

Questions & Answers About Family Worship

1. Aren't children in the worship service a distraction to their parents and other adults? Besides, I want to be able to focus my full attention on worshipping the Lord and not be distracted by my children or by others' children. Wouldn't it be better to have a children's ministry during the service so that adults can worship without distraction?

Untrained children can be a distraction not only to their parents but to others around them as well. While it may seem like the best solution to the problem is to remove the children from the service, in the long run it hinders the children from learning how to behave in a multigenerational gathering. Young children can and should be trained to sit still and not be an unreasonable distraction to their parents or others. Because we believe that families should be together worshipping the Lord, we realize that distractions may come and we give grace to others in the training process. We see this as an opportunity not only to train the children to sit quietly but to also help the adults have family-focused heart attitudes as well.

2. My children get bored and restless easily. Wouldn't it be better if they were with other children hearing children's Bible stories and lessons along with games and activities?

Our culture has trained our children (and adults as well) to think that they need to be entertained or distracted in some way. Instead of teaching our children to be still, we fill their schedules with constant activity under the guise that being busy is good and meaningful. Boredom is an attitude we assume children are going to have and that there is nothing we can do about it except to keep them busy. Whether or not the children find the service boring may greatly depend on the example set by the parents. What message do we send our children if we send them off to a children's ministry and do not allow them to be with us? Often, children are made to sit with their parents when they misbehave in the children's ministry and they grow up thinking that the adult service is punishment. While being with other children in a learning environment may have its benefits, oftentimes children who have graduated from a children's ministry program find the service even more boring because they were never trained as young children to get anything out of it. Young children can learn important spiritual disciplines during the service by sitting quietly and paying attention. As they grow older, they will have a much easier time paying attention to the teaching and feeling a part of things by remaining in the service than if they had been separated from it for most of their childhood.

3. If we don't have a children's church, how will our children make friendships with other children in the church?

While the time spent together during a Sunday service may allow us to become acquainted with one another, it will never provide the environment for relationships to be built. This applies to adults as well as children. We believe families should work together to build relationships in the church and that parents should be directly involved with the friendships their children are making. Families can arrive early on Sunday morning or stay after the service in order to fellowship together. Families should get together throughout the week to build and foster relationships with one another. As a church, we have other activities (community service projects, outreach, campouts, picnics, game nights, etc.) throughout the year which provide opportunities for relationships to be built.

4. My children aren't getting anything out of the sermon/teaching; it's too above their comprehension level. Could the sermon be more generalized so that they could comprehend it more?

We realize that sometimes even adults may not get anything out of the sermon. This is oftentimes due to our bad attitude and lack of heart preparation. However, we shouldn't underestimate what our children can comprehend and remember. Yes, there may be parts of the sermons that seem too deep for our children, but if we come to the service with an attitude of being eager to hear God's word and instill that attitude in our children, we will come away with minds challenged and hearts encouraged to follow the Lord. We must realize the importance of the "seed of the Word" being scattered in young minds and hearts. Encourage your children to remember one point from the sermon and discuss it at home that day. Ask them how the sermon can be applied or effect their daily lives. When challenged to listen, children will rise to the occasion.

5. I want my children to be excited about God and grow up to serve Him. Wouldn't a children's ministry better prepare them for this?

How do children learn most things in life? It's not from a classroom setting but from the examples of those around them. If we truly want our children to be excited about God and to grow up to serve Him, we better be sure that we are setting the example! Do our lives display an excitement and passion for God? Are we exhibiting Christ-like character and qualities in our everyday lives and interactions with our children? Do our children see and hear us speaking and behaving with Christ-likeness around others? Do our children see us serving God cheerfully by serving others? No children's ministry, regardless of how clever and fun it is, will take the place of the examples set by their parents at home and among those who surround them.

6. My children have friends that they would like to bring to church. How will these children be trained?

Let your children's friends know what is expected of them - don't be afraid to give them a standard by which to live. As stated earlier, children will rise to the challenge. Get to know your child's friend. Help the friend feel a part of your family. Being comfortable with the family will help them be more comfortable in the service. On the way home, ask questions about the service and discuss the teaching. Give everyone a chance to voice their thoughts. Not only will this help the friend feel involved and valued, but it will also train your children how to interact with others and show them that we are not ashamed of the gospel.

7. The service seems out of touch with today's culture. My family needs a more relevant and contemporary service that we can relate to. Couldn't we be more contemporary in what we do?

This is an issue that we are constantly evaluating and one that needs to be treated very carefully. The Church today is bombarded with the need to be contemporary and relevant to today's culture. Often, in its attempt to be attractive to the world around it by employing contemporary and relevant methods, it becomes weak and sick over time by replacing truth with cultural methods and gimmicks. While we do not think there is only one way to have a Sunday service, we do want to be careful in what we do and allow on Sunday morning. We come together to worship the Lord, not to be entertained. We do aim to be relevant, relaxed and contemporary, while also providing a service that is reverent and causes us to realize the beauty and majesty of God. The Word of God is what is relevant to our culture and that is why we focus on preaching the Word, not promoting fads and gimmicks in styles of worship.

8. The service is too formal and I would like a more relaxed atmosphere where I can just come as I am. Does it matter how I dress?

We never want people to feel that they cannot be with us because of the way they dress. We want to be careful to provide an atmosphere where all feel welcome and accepted. However, the atmosphere of the service should not be so casual that it borders on irreverence and/or flippancy. We are told in the book of Hebrews, "Therefore, since we receive a kingdom which cannot be shaken, let us show gratitude, by which we may offer to God an acceptable service with reverence and awe; for our God is a consuming fire" (vv28-29). While we are not advocating any particular dress code, we are encouraging people to examine their hearts when they are gathering for worship. Are we giving the Lord our best? Our "best" will work its way out in three areas: physically, mentally/emotionally, and spiritually. Are we physically rested and neat? A tired body and rumpled, sloppy dress often reveals tired, rumpled, and sloppy attitudes. Have we prepared our hearts and our minds to come to listen and learn? Are we coming to worship the Lord in spirit and truth? The atmosphere that we worship in is more often determined by the condition of our hearts and minds and not by the environment around us. Do we come to be critics of the service or expecting that the Lord will teach us? Do we come relaxed and ready to give God our best or are we stressed out and frazzled, hoping it will all end soon? It's up to you. It's a matter of the heart.

FBCOhio@embarqmail.com